EPISODE 035: Fear Be Damned: Part 2: Ezekiel Rudick

The second part of each episode is usually the far deeper more fulfilling and revealing part. Do to our trust for one another growing as well as the amount of drinks we've ha!

Zeke empowers me to get very transparent about my forming of a "Christian" institution (Once called Love is not Lost now called life) after I left the machine and to talk about the pain that ensued...but also the hope, joy, and community that has come out of it.  We talk about the Jesus we want to believe in, albeit not sure yet if that Jesus exists.

With suffering beginning our discussion in this episode we come to some therapeutic conclusions that the human experience doesn't need answers.  That conclusions only lead us to definitive responses which build walls around us and shut us off from growth.  There is great joy to found in pain.

Suffering helps us realize our stupidity, pettiness, and fear. it serves us by revealing to us that we don’t need to hold back. That we are free to be ourselves.
— Zeke Rudick

Zeke speaks to us about the thing many religious folks have felt in the past, the pressure to pursue people to save them and convert them to our ways.  Wow, how that never worked for us.  We have a hearty laugh at the expense of Kirk Cameron, Ray Comfort, and the whole "Way of the Master" manipulation.

I think one of the things that Ezekiel helps me to process through the most are my intentions and hopes for the CounterCulture Society.  We chat about art and humanities need for it.  How it expresses our deepest feelings and experiences in therapeutic ways.  We talk about the vision of CounterCulture Society, my hopes for it and fears of it.

What's cool is that my wife, Jen walks in on us recording, loosely joins the conversation and publicly calls me out on my shit.  Her input is a strong reminder to us both that the struggle is real, but that the biggest part of the struggle is usually in our own heads, not outside of us.

Fear is often the very thing that keeps us from living our lives.  The fear of being ourselves, the fear of speaking up and speaking out.  The fear that someone is going to be upset with me, that someone might reject us when we speak up and speak out of where we are.

Zeke and I hope to live a world free of fear, free from being rejected by community, and free of caring what others think.  We  desire to grow to think differently and live in the freedom from conforming.

What if I just allow myself space to figure it out, instead of trying to isolate it all into the dichotomy of good versus evil.
— Zeke Rudick
Fear is the low, rumbling, hum of suffering.
— Zeke Rudick